The Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating: the rules

Posted on | September 9, 2008 |

There are so many articles out there on what to do and what not to do in the wonderful world of online dating. There are rules for men and women, which can be very conflicting. Since sites like MySpace and FaceBook have become popular, and everyone wants to be seen, these sites have spawned a lot of online dating. So whether you’re meeting singles on eHarmony or WoW (World of Warcraft), the rules of online dating apply to you, too.

Rule #1

Be honest: If you have posted a profile on a dating service, like Match.com, don’t photoshop your picture, or your interests. Use current photos and when filling in the profile questionnaire, avoid putting that you are slim and fit when you are actually something else. Eventually, you’re going to meet someone, so don’t blow it with a lie. (Some men are intimidated by “slim and fit” and more comfortable with “average” or “more of me to love.”)

Rule #2

Safety, safety, safety: You should be honest in your profile, because that will help you find the best match possible, but you don’t need to be foolish. Do not put personal information, like last names, address or phone numbers. FaceBook has a feature which allows you to identify people in pictures; this may be fun for you, but remember that your friends’ safety counts to. And when you finally do meet someone for the first time, meet in a public location, and make sure you’ve told a paranoid family member or friend exactly where you planned to be.

Rule #3

Be open minded: If you are on a site which has profiles, be open. Just because her favorite book is Jane Eyre, may not mean that she doesn’t love motorcycles or camping. Don’t let appearances or minor interests ruin your opportunity to find love. After all, you wouldn’t want someone to skip over your profile because you may be balding or love Abba.

Rule #4

Be Realistic: with yourself and others! You can’t expect to meet George Clooney, no matter how good their pictures are. Don’t be disappointed if finding someone takes a little longer than you’d hoped. True love can take time to develop and shouldn’t be hampered by high expectations. (Some expectations are hard to live up to.)

Rule #5

Become obsessive: Don’t forget that you have a life outside of the Internet! Go out and still meet people. Don’t abandon your life for the Internet. Sometimes, you join an online dating site or other social forum, and end up finding love somewhere else. That’s OK! One thing you should learn from online dating and interacting is that you have something to offer, and you should be confident about that! So don’t stay in your computer room counting down the minutes until the cute blond you emailed responds; he or she will still be there tomorrow.

Rule #6

Conflicting rules get you nowhere: Rules for men say to wait for the woman to email you or contact you in some way. Rules for women direct the women to wait for the men to contact them. See a problem? If all of the singles follow such conflicting rules, how would anyone get to know each other? Here is a new rule to replace the conflicting ones: If you are interested, send a short note, commenting about their profile. Then wait. The ball is in their court, so to speak. If they don’t respond within a week, it’s safe to move on. You don’t have to look over eager or desperate, just interested in getting to know them.

Rule #7

Don’t be foolish: Yes, this rule merits another mention. Don’t totally throw caution to the wind. Take precautions when meeting someone, be careful of how much information you provide on your profile. Use common sense, even on Wow! Don’t be pressured to meet if you aren’t ready, and never feel guilty about wanting to talk and get to know the other person better before more confidences are shared.

There are a lot of rules, but not all of them apply solely to online dating; they can be helpful with all social media forums. Have fun dating online. The Internet is a great place to meet great people that you might never meet other wise. And don’t give up; instead, give yourself time to find love.

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